health, not yoga

That's what this (long) post is about :)

I've had such a 'torrid' few days not sure if that's quite the correct word but it sort of sounds good! So, can't remember if I've posted about this here before, but after I'd had the chemo 3 years ago (for the lymphoma) they wanted to collect stem cells from me so in the (hopefully very unlikely) event that it came back, I could have them transplanted back into me. But I guess my bone marrow had been damaged too much and try as they did, they just weren't able to.

So, flash forward a couple of years and there's this new drug around in trials that is supposed to 'mobilise' stem cells (see, they are created/live in your bone marrow, and all your blood cells are created there and and then migrate into your bloodstream - amazing!) And this drug is supposed to be really good at bringing the stem cells out into the bloodstream so they can be 'collected', in association with the other drug they normally use (and which didn't work or work sufficiently for me). It got passed by the US FDA and also had to go through trials here in Australia. My doctor managed to get me into the trial as a 'poor mobiliser' (!) and get the drug before it too came off trial and was approved here.

So, on Thursday of last week I had to start 5 days of self-injecting the original drug (Neupagen), then roll up to the hospital on the Monday night for the night so the trial drug could be injected into me, ready for the stem cell collection on Tuesday. If all went well, it would only take one day, but if they didn't collect enough stem cells that day I'd have to come back the next day for a second round.

What could go wrong? What didn't go wrong!!! Let's start with side effects. I think I'm a magnet for side effects! The Neupagen gave me nausea and exhaustion and back ache/bone pain. I didn't mind the bone pain - that was the stem cells forcing their way out of my hip bones, so I could forgive them that!

Of course, that weekend was the big choir camp weekend - rehearsals all day Saturday and Sunday. I managed to make it for the mornings but had to go home and collapse each afternoon. Then on the Monday night when I turned up at the hospital they couldn't find the trial drug! The nurses tried to contact my doctor but his phone was turned off! I knew where it would be - in his offices on the ground floor to which only he had the key! So, this drug had to be injected 12 hours before they start the collection (a 4 hour process). And I was spending the night in the hospital knowing that nothing could happen the next day (Tuesday). Eventually went to work on the Tuesday morning, and the side effects of 6 days of the Neupagen drug were such that I only managed to stay for a few hours before going home (the opposite direction to the hospital). There I fed the cat, collected another day's clothes, and went back to the hospital again to this time successfully have the injection.

So on Wednesday they did the first stem cell collection. It's very weird. Your blood is taken out of a vein in one arm, fed into this enormous machine with a centrifuge in it that separates the different components of your blood. And they attempt to collect only the stem cells. Then your blood is fed back into a vein in your other arm. Your whole blood supply is cycled through this machine about 3-4 times apparently. And, for this 4 hour process, you have to sit on a bed and absolutely cannot move the arm that is feeding the blood into the machine. Even leaning forward, bends the arm. I can tell you it is very difficult to sit still, only moving one arm, (and not drinking anything for obvious reasons!)

So, finally got to the end. The stem cells were couriered over to the big Brisbane hospital that stores them for people (for years), and they checked to see if enough stem cells had been collected. No, they'd got about half the amount needed! By the time I hear this it's about 4pm, and I'm told I'll have to sleep at the hospital again that night (and have a second trial drug injection). I freaked out! I'd somehow thought I could sleep at home and come back in the following morning, forgetting about the need for the injection 12 hours before. Had to drive home again, get more clothes and feed the poor bewildered little pussycat again, before driving back to hospital. (Did I say it is about an hour's drive from the hospital to my place?!)

Anyway, 2nd stem cell collection on Thursday. This was the last attempt - I think I'd only been allowed two vials (worth $8,000 each off trial, no charge on the trial!) I wasn't sure whether we'd get enough the second time. There were apparently less floating around in my blood. But still, we'd all done our best. If it didn't work, at least I'd done everything I could to get these elusive stem cells put away for a rainy day. (Or so I told myself!)

Got home yesterday evening not knowing the answer (it takes a few hours for the results to come through). But when I rang the hospital this morning it was SUCCESS!! Apparently they'd collected more the second time. And I was soo relieved! At least all the stress and illness of the past few days had been for something!!

I hadn't even mentioned the fact that I'd also had a perfect storm situation of an increasingly complicated conference website I was supposed to be doing at work, combined with a deadline told to me at the last minute of smack bang in the middle of stem cell collection! Luckily I was able to hand that over to someone else to finish off - but until I did that it did nothing for my stress levels!

And now I'm at home recovering. It's amazingly stressful being in hospital. I'm not doing anything - not going to yoga on Saturday. My platelets are very very low and I can't afford to do anything that might bruise me. But I will get some yoga (at a slower pace) in on Sunday morning when my friend Helen comes over ...

And a big Gold Star to anyone who gets to the end of this very long post !!! Looking forward to happier, more normal days and posts coming up!

Looking forward and looking back

It's a new year ...  a time for new beginnings, new focus, starting afresh ...

I don't really know if it's because of getting older (oh, surely not?!!) or because of having had a potentially life-threatening illness (non-Hodgkins Lymphoma), going through chemo and the recovery from that, the knowledge that remission isn't a 'cure' per se, and that I may well have to go through some sort of treatment again sometime in the future ... But whatever the reason, I do seem to engage more with the 'new beginnings' feel of each new year. I think about setting goals (new years resolutions) for the year, and look back on the previous year and what happened, how it went.

I had a look back through my January 2009 blogs to see what I'd aimed for. Before I go there, I should 'reprise' some of the things that were affecting me, health and otherwise last year.

Last January I was only a year and a bit out of chemo/recovery. I was also suffering from lots of bronchial infections/coughing fits and had only just started having the monthly IV-IG infusions the previous month. It took till May before the infusions had me turning the corner and feeling well again without the help of antibiotics.

The other big thing that happened to me last year was the whole 'restructure' thing we went through at work - starting from around September 2008 and culiminating in March 2009. It was incredibly stressful for all of us - fighting for our jobs as we were. Ultimately we knew it was a losing battle, but we really didn't want to roll over and let them 'do the dirty' on us without a fight. So we fought them every step of the way, with very few wins. But we stood up for ourselves. In the end I took another job at the University in a different department (the IT dept) on the main St Lucia campus. And I have to say it was a wonderful decision, and the outcome has been really good for me. I've been lifted out of my comfort zone (a very deep rut!) and stretched in many ways.

The only downside has been more travelling and a longer day. And less opportunities for lunchtime yoga.

So, what I was wanting to do with 2009 was see Maharaji (and I did, at Amaroo!) and try and put more into my yoga practice. I think I have been reasonably successful with the yoga aspiration too, considering all the health and travel constrictions 2009 had put on me - although it has been hard to find the time during the week.

And what about 2010? What aspirations and hopes do I have for this brand new year ... Good health of course, I always aspire and hope for that these days!

I do really hope (and intend to do what I can) to see Maharaji again this year too. Once a year isn't much but living in Australia it's usually the best one can hope for.

And in yoga - well, I've kind of been inspired by this YouTube video on jumpbacks and jump-throughs. I have never been able to jump back at all, but looking at that video, I think maybe I might be able to if I keep practising! So, this is what I am aiming for! To be able to jump back (and make a start on the jump-throughs!) And I really want to do this by September when I'm planning to go on a big overseas trip! So, we shall see what transpires.

(following para added a couple of days later as I forgot it when I was writing originally!)
The other thing I really want to do this year is make more of an effort to  socialise, to invite people over for Sunday lunches! I need to be pushed/push myself to do this because I'm a bit shy / lazy !! But I was a bit too reclusive last year - or didn't make much of an effort! I mostly just went out to the movies with a friend, and saw friends at Book Club. I need to do better this year - for my own sake!!

I wish for good health and happiness for everyone, especially family and friends. And a friend on Facebook who I've known since the 70s posted this today and I'm going to copy it here - it really took me back to those sweet and heady days! I wish it for everyone ... :)

May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you

And the pure light within you, guide your way on ...

(Incredible String Band - 'A Very Cellular Song')

(I do of course sing it to myself rather than 'read' it!!)

The Good and the Bad!

Well, good and bad to report on! I'll start off with the bad! As part of the government's attempt to stimulate the Australian economy they have been offering 'free' roof insulation to all home-owners - up to a certain limit. Well, my house is notoriously badly insulated - hot in the summer and cold in the winter. I'd always been told that the cathedral ceilings that are throughout the whole house are very difficult/impossible to insulate but when I went and enquired again, I was thrilled to hear they had some new type of 'blow-in' insulation that could be used, and was covered by the government's insulation rebate.

So, yesterday was the big day. But ... when they arrived they took one look at my ceilings and said - no, we can't do that! After lots of to-ing and fro-ing yesterday and today, it turns out that there's more than one type of cathedral ceiling, and the type I have (with the beams exposed inside the house) can't be insulated that way - there's only about 38mm space between the ceiling lining and the corrugated iron roofing. Big sigh!!

Ah, but the good news ... !
Today I saw my specialist, having had extensive blood tests on Monday. And counts are looking really good!

White cell count   4.6   (normal range 4.0 - 11.0)
Neutrophils   2.7   (normal range 2.0 - 7.5)
Platelets   155   (normal range 150-450)

Platelets were in normal range for the first time, probably in 2-3 years!! And Dr B said nothing to worry about - everything is normal, and as it should be.

And so really, that totally outweighs any disappointment I might have had about the insulation. There are much more important things in life ...  :)

"... And all is coming"

Had one of those sweet yoga practices at class on the weekend. I was really looking forward to it as I drove the 40 minutes trip there, and it was no disappointment (as if!) Everything flowed. I seemed to have more strength than I've had for ages, and was even able to hold ubbhaya padangusthasana (sp?!) - really for the first time for over 2 years ... Not to mention getting both feet off the ground in bakasana, again unseen for a similar amount of time!

It does seem like I may finally have gotten over the 'bump' caused by the NHL in 2007 and subsequent lack of practice (and any strength) for 6-9 months. Who'd have thought it'd take so long to get back from that ... ?!  Of course I'm being very cautious in any pronouncements here - don't want to tempt fate !

And I'm older :) , and also my new working situation means I can't practice as much as I used to. (Not that I've ever been a 6-day a week person, except when in India.) But I do what I'm able to, without writing myself off. And right now, it seems like it's paying off, even if it's taken more time that I would like.

I know, I know. As a very wise person said - "do your practice and all is coming" ...

:)

Great news on health front!

Had my 12-monthly CT scan today and it came back clear! More details are on my Lymphoma blog.

I am very happy this evening!!!

ITIL certification course

Last week was exhausting! It was a short week - the Monday had been a public holiday. But Wednesday to Friday I was on a 3-day course - ITIL Foundation certification. Basically this is all about processes that are (or should be) used within the IT industry, and in my new department (ITS) they like all staff to get certification. It's all theory and really hard to cram into your head! I was completely wiped out by it. We had an official exam on the Friday afternoon ... We'd done 2 trials (previous exam papers) and I passed both of them. But I failed the official one! I was so upset on Friday evening. I knew it was stupid but I'd put an awful lot of effort into it, and the fact that I'd passed the two trial ones easily - it was infuriating! I've decided I'm going to have to do the exam again - and if/when I pass, then I can let it all drop out of my mind and probably won't remember much of it at all.

Sigh ... I don't know why I've got so wound up about this - everyone at work dreads this course and there was lots of eye-rolling when I said I was going to it. I guess I'm not actually used to failing(!), and having put so much effort into trying to understand the concepts, and learn which processes went with which service - failing really got to me! I had to make a big effort not to have it cloud my whole weekend - ridiculous I know!

Feeling better now - it's Sunday afternoon and I've just been planting some potatoes in the veggie garden I dug over a week or two ago. I went to yoga yesterday afternoon - bit of a slog coz I was feeling weak and stiff, but I'm very glad I went (as usual!) Tomorrow morning bright and early (6am) I'm off to the hospital to have an IV-IG infusion. I need to get a CT scan organisied for the next month or so. If I don't catch my doctor (when he comes up to the ward to do his rounds) then I'll have to make an appointment to see him and get the forms. This (CT scan) is my yearly check-up ... :) Feeling fine about it now but I know I won't be sleeping too well the night or two beforehand. Ah well - cross that bridge when I come to it!

Class (yoga) again at last!

Went to yoga class on the weekend - first time in about 3 months! Since I had that period of awful coughing every time I did any inverted pose ... For the past few weeks I've been doing yoga at home, and with our yoga group at work. But going back to class is definitely another level of intensity altogether. The energy was just wonderful!

I did some poses that I'd been leaving out for a while, either because of time constraints, weakness, or whatever! Shoulderstand (sarvangasana) was one - and I felt much more upright in that pose than in the past.

I hadn't made any particular new year's resolutions this year, but now I feel that one thing I really would like to do is move forward with my yoga practice, put more energy there. I feel that for the past couple of years it's been stop -> start -> stop -> start ... Understandable given the circumstances, but now it's time to get out of that cycle and go forward!

Mind you, I say I hadn't made any new year's resolutions, but one thing I do know! I am going to see Maharaji this year, whether it's here in Australia or somewhere else if he doesn't come to these shores. It's just been far too long!

I saw my doctor yesterday, and had the 2nd of the immunoglobulin infusions. All good ... I'm seeing a respiratory physician tomorrow, and after that will blog about them both on the lymphoma blog.

why blog?

I read a newspaper article (ed: just added the link!) today about how people are sharing too much information these days - in reality TV shows, Facebook and MySpace, Twitter, etc etc etc.

"Today we all live with the expectation that we must happily spill our guts for whoever cares to slosh through them. Once considered a virtue, discretion is now viewed as either a character flaw or a sign that you're hiding one."

It made me stop and think about my use of blogs and Facebook. Am I being exhibitionist or something to like writing a blog (or two)? It's certainly not my nature to overtly draw attention to myself - I'm quite shy. I like to think that I do keep private the things that should remain private, but maybe I cross the line ... not sure!

I do know that I have always been a diary-keeper. Sometimes I'd let it go for a while, but then a year or two later I'd start another one. However until I started blogging, it was never for public reading. I started this blog when I went on an overseas trip and it seemed like a cool and easy way to keep friends and family in touch with what I was doing!

Then the ashtangi.net blog site was put together and I wanted to participate/join in, even though most of the other blogs there are from much more advanced and/or dedicated ashtangis than me! And so this blog did turn into an on-line diary, and my paper diary faded away! But really, I'm pretty much writing here for me/my benefit, not for anyone else. Just like with a diary, it's fun to look back to where you were/what you were doing a year or more ago. And with my yoga journey especially.

When I was diagnosed with NHL (Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma) 18 months ago it was different. I decided to set up a separate lymphoma blog to write about what happened, how it was in hospital and going through all that unbelievable stuff!

But this time it was not only for my benefit (and I have now re-read it a few times, from a distance, marvelling that this really happened to me!) But also for other people who found themselves in a similar situation, to read about someone's experiences, the good and the bad. I have certainly found it incredibly helpful to read other "cancer warriors' blogs" as well as discussion boards etc. You get so much information, and reassurance that other people have gone through the same thing as you, and they've come out the other side! I really think this is one big example of the fantastic way the internet has brought people together.

So, I can reassure myself that the lymphoma blog is definitely for a good reason! And this one? - well, I'm a web developer. I live in the technical and online world! So it just seems normal that I'd be using at least some of the tools that are around me. I don't think I need to be too concerned that I'm turning into a Britny or Big Brother type person!! Really!!

Immune system gone missing!

Sigh! I checked with my GP the results of a blood test I had done recently (my specialist being overseas for a couple of weeks) and it appears that my immunoglobulin levels are seriously low. They are an essential part of one's immune system. Unfortunately that probably means that I can't get out of what he (the specialist) predicted I'd need to have - monthly 'infusions' of gamma-globulin for at least a year! Double sigh!

It all makes sense - in the last month or so I've been on antibiotics twice, and each time have been feeling great when I've been on them, but a few days after coming off, I'd start coughing at night again etc. I'm 10 days off antibiotics right now and am feeling OK in the daytime but coughing and having sore throats etc at night. My white blood count is down again too, but this is probably because they've having to do so much work fighting off infection.

Anyway, I've got a prescription for enough antibiotics now to last me till I see my specialist on the 17th December. And then we shall see what he has to say (as if I didn't know!)

Oh well - it could of course be a lot worse. And at least when I get back onto the antibiotics I'll start feeling better again, so that's good!

My Plan to start yoga again!

I was looking through a drawer for some spare Christmas cards I'd bought and never sent last year (yes, I've suddenly realised it's that time of year, specially for overseas cards!) and I saw the old wall calendar I'd had last year. It had pictures from an ashtanga yoga class for each month - just regular people doing yoga. And it really made me want so much to be doing yoga again.

I've had a few setbacks with the cough etc. but do feel I'm getting on top of it again. (yes, I know, I've said this a few times before!) But anyway, I've decided to try doing some at lunchtime this week, specifically I'll try very cautiously doing 1-2 sun salutes, and see how downdog goes. If it doesn't get me coughing again, I'll increase the number slowly, and hope to be able to go back to class next Saturday. Now that is a plan I like the sound of!!

Actually, I had to go and have chest physio this week. Apparently I've damaged my lungs sometime ago by coughing too much, and that damage is never going to go away. So I'll be more liable to getting chest infections etc. Luckily the resulting bronchio-something (!) that I've got is in a very early stage, and should be able to be kept there if I look after myself.

It was quite amusing - the physiotherapist kept on repeating that this condition that results in the boring cough was never going to go away completely. In that, I'll be liable to get chest infections that will bring it back. After the 4th time I ended up saying to her - look, I've recently survived having cancer. I'm certainly not going to break my heart over a bit of a cough that comes every now and then!

Last night was the Bach Society Choir performance of The Messiah. It went pretty well, although there was a sticky moment in the 2nd half when one voice-part didn't come in when they should, which unfortunately resulted in us altos losing our place and not coming in either! Luckily the other 2 voice parts were still singing and we managed to pick it up again a few seconds later!! These things do tend to happen sometimes in performances! Anyway, I had a lovely time, and what's more, I didn't cough at all. I did come armed with Fisherman's Friends (very strong mint lozenges) which my Mum told me stopped her coughing fits, and whether it was them, or maybe the physio the day before, it was really nice not to be coughing my head off while I was supposed to be singing!

I probably shouldn't have but ...

... I just really wanted to go to my yoga class on Saturday - I'd missed the previous week's class because of being in Sydney. I had woken up that morning feeling good (this virus seems to mostly affect me in the evening/night) so I decided to go.

But I did/do have some sort of flu/viral thing happening! So I decided I'd talk to the teachers, take it really carefully and slowly etc, cut down on sun salutes etc etc. But I was only onto my 2nd surya namaskara B when I got a nosebleed! It wasn't very bad but I still didn't like it at all! I've only had a nosebleed once before and that was when I was in hospital last year. That time it was because of low platelets ... but I don't really think that's the reason this time. I don't have any bruises or anything, and I had heaps then. I guess it's because of blowing my poor nose, and dry air and stuff. I hope so anyway!

Anyway, that brought me up short! Richard suggested I don't do any standing poses, and just do seated ones as they're less 'dynamic'. So, that's what I did ... Which was good - there's plenty for me to work on there, even without doing any real strenuous or inverted poses. I was partly trying not to bring my head down (to avoid possible further nose bleeds) so it was a bit odd ... :)

Of course the next morning I woke up really tired and stuff, so I took advantage of it being the weekend, and stayed in bed till late. At work today a couple of people who've had this were telling me that they'd feel fine one day, and then completely exhausted the next ... Went on for a couple of weeks - great! This is my second week - let's hope it's the last!!

Goodbye to my Porta-cath

And I hope not to see you again, or at the very least not for a loong time! Yes, it's coming out - tomorrow. I have to be admitted as a day patient, but it's done under the wonderful 'twilight sedation'. That means no anaesthetic (which I hate!), I don't remember a thing and feel fine afterwards! I'm not allowed to drive, so I'm getting myself to the Wesley Hospital (where it's happening) by taxi and train (the train station is 4-5 minutes from the hospital) and Lorraine is picking me up and bringing me home. Then back to work on Friday.

Went to yoga on Monday, having missed it on Saturday as I went to a video event at Amaroo (which was lovely). Boy was I stiff the morning after yoga though! Even though I did that Rodney Yee DVD class on Friday. Shows how much that did for me (nothing!) I'm doing yoga at lunchtime today, but am not sure how I'll go in our Friday lunchtime video group, as I'll have stitches from the portacath removal the day before. But I'll just see how I go, what feels right.

The little website I was working on has now resolved itself and is up, thank goodness. So I now just need to explain to its owner how to upload the word/pdf files via the cPanel so she can make them available via her blog.

And ... I've been starting to think about getting a new kitten (Abyssinian of course). I had a look on the web for local breeders and sent off a few emails enquiring about availability etc. Didn't get any replies, so sent more emails further afield (like Sydney and even Melbourne). And then I thought to check my Spam folder on the weekend, where I found replies to all my emails!!!

So now I've 'ordered' a kitten from a local Abyssinian breeder, who is expecting kittens to arrive at the end of September. Which would mean I'd be able to pick up my new kitten shortly before Christmas (they keep them for 12 weeks before you can take them away from their mum). It is quite exciting! I still think about my Mieke but I just have happy memories now, the sadness has gone. And I think that by Christmas it'll be well time to have a new little friend living with me!

Doctor's visit and other stuff

Today was the day I went for my 3-monthly appointment with my doctor ... rather than repeating it all, you can read about it on my lymphoma blog. Suffice to say I am pretty happy about things!

I managed to combine the doctor's visit with a work project meeting in one of the uni's coffeeshops - Wordsmiths. I'm part of a small project team that is trying to write/develop clear accessibility approaches, based on the WCAG v2.0 Accessibility 'Principles'. These are much clearer than the W3C's V1 targets, but are still quite difficult to comprehend! We're doing this initially for our workplace TEDI (Teaching & Educational Development Institute), trying to apply them to different roles within TEDI- eg. Graphic Designers, Instructional Designers, Programmers. Now we've won an internal grant from the uni's diversity/disability committee to do this, which means we're going to have to take the next step (!), run training sessions for different groups within TEDI, and also present it as a 'seminar' with the university's annual Teaching & Learning Week, sometime in November I think.

This weekend I'm going down to NSW to spend a week with my Mum. We've got a pretty busy week lined up, with various family members coming down on the weekend, a visit to Sydney on Monday, and on Wednesday we're going on a bit of a road trip to Mudgee, to visit some friends. That should be really nice - we'll be there for 2-3 days. Then back on the following weekend. I will be taking my camera so should have some nice photos to share ... :)

My scans were clear!!!

Yesss!! I had CT and PET scans last Friday and although I'd been sure they would be clear, as the date approached I started to worry, all the 'whatifs' were running through my head, specially in bed at night!

Anyway, I got a message from my doctor that they were negative / clear !! I'm seeing him again in a couple of weeks, and I'll see what he has to say then, but it is quite a relief! (I couldn't have waited 2 weeks to hear!!)

Apart from that (great news!) things are good! I did yoga practice at work yesterday (lunchtime) which felt really good. And we've got the Friday lunchtime yoga session with a few others from work happening again too.

The chooks have gone back to Angela, now that she's back from her world tour! She came for dinner on Sunday night and we went down to the chookshed at about 8pm with a torch and various boxes and managed to transfer them into said boxes without too much squawking or anxiety!

Anyway, I'm happy! A weight has been taken off my mind (which I put there, but ...) and I can get on with enjoying life and what it brings!

Very sad news about my Mieke pussycat

She's gone. Yesterday. I had to sign the form to authorise the vet to euthanise her, and I stroked her (and soaked her head with my tears) as it happened.

On Monday afternoon (when I was home sick from that sushi-overdose) she came in from outside and I could see she was having trouble breathing. I took her to the vets, and they ended up sending me off the the University's small animal clinic as it was too serious for them to deal with. The vets there told me it appeared she had a large 'mass' in her chest cavity which was leaving very little room for her lungs. Anyway, they kept her in overnight and did further tests on her. I had to go to the hospital on Tuesday morning to have my portacath flushed and get blood tests, so I went to the Uni clinic on the way back from that, in my heart knowing what was likely going to have to happen.

Supreme irony - it appeared likely that she had a lymphoma! But she wasn't going to survive it.

I've had to stop writing this a few times in an attempt to keep it together (I'm at work). I know it was for the best, that she was suffering. At least now it's only me that's suffering. And I will get over it. But right now ... I've had her for 12 and a half years. She was there with me when I broke up with my partner of 18 years. She was with me when I went through chemo for NHL last year. She has been a support and a companion through all of that.

I shall miss her more than I can say ...

Mosaic and stuff

Well, I had lots of fun at the mosaic workshop, though like many things it's not as easy as it looks! This is what I've done to date. Still more mosaic to go on, and then grout. I'll post another pic of the finished item. god knows what I'll do with it when it's finished, but it's something to get started on!!

And the smaller mosaic at the top of the picture - there's a good story attached to that! When I was a kid we lived in Libya (my dad was in the British Army and we were posted there for a year). We lived in Homs, and just down the road (or mediterranean coastline) was a ruined Roman city called Leptis Magna. My sister and I learnt to swim there, in the rockpools. The sea had receded since the city was a functioning port city. Anyway, we used to swim in the rockpools with masks on. And in the bottom, in the sand there were all these bits of tessarae - the bits of mosaic that the Romans had used to make mosaic floors. The mosaics had been broken up by the sea I guess. So my mum still has boxes of these that we collected as children. And she made the little pot-stand (can't remember the actual word for this!) in a craft class a few years ago, using some of those bits of what had once been part of a Roman mosaic!!

What with all the running around, getting tiles, safety goggles, glue, etc. I didn't end up having time to get to yoga on Saturday. I realised I'd forgotten to bring my mat with me anyway, so perhaps I subconsciously knew that would happen?! Anyway, I went yesterday evening, which was good. I haven't been going to the classes during the week for a while now. It's just easier for me to go on the weekend - considering that it's a 45 minutes drive there.

At work I've been trying (with the emphasis on 'trying'!) to learn Joomla. A content management system. There are 2-3 websites coming up that I'll be working on that will need to go into a CMS, and we've sort of decided that Joomla is the way to go. I can get some of it, but the template file that incorporates all the CSS, and actual graphic layout of the site ... it is just doing my head in! Luckily someone told me about a place that sells a sort of 'kit' that includes an hour-long video explaining everything, and a Dreamweaver extension to use. And even more luckily, my work has agreed to buy it! It got very good reviews on the Joomla website, so hopefully it will help me get my head round it all!

Healthwise everything is good, although there is still the tendency to put any little thing that happens under the microscope and think, what is this? is it something I should worry about? ... etc etc! I guess that sort of comes with the territory nowadays!! I am trying to wean myself off reading so much on the web about lymphoma nowadays, not visiting the discussion boards very much or anything. For a while I felt compelled to read everything every day, but I'm trying to be more 'normal' !! I am still on a couple of email lists, and do follow up on things that sound relevant to my situation. But it feels good to pull back somewhat from all that. :)

Why am I so busy?!

Had to make the decision last night not to be part of the choral recording that my choir is doing in a few days time. I just seem to be so busy at the moment and there's heaps of music that I either don't know, or else am very rusty on. I can't see when or how I can do enough rehearsal to be able to do it ... Ah well, there'll be another concert next semester that I'll be singing in.

Why am I so busy? Well, one of the reasons is I've been asked to update a website that I did years ago. It's one for an organisation I'm involved in ... shan't put the URL here as I'm not proud of the site anymore. For one thing it's laid out in tables (shock, horror!) instead of purely CSS. Anyway, it's taking a lot longer to fix up than I thought it would and there's pressure to do it asap. And this is of course all being done in the evenings, after I've been at work all day, then gone to the gym on the way home. Apart from that - I guess I've just been taking on a bit more than I had been and, particularly if I don't go to bed early enough (ie. by 10pm) I end up getting tired ... and grumpy with myself!

Anyway, I just needed to clear the decks a bit! This weekend (Sunday) I'm going to a mosaic-making get-together with some friends which should be great! I've always wanted to do some mosaic, and so I'm going to have fun! I'm either going to do a plant saucer/platter, or a large square pot rest. I'm restraining myself from launching into big complex projects before I've done anything! It's been hard, but ... :)

At yoga class last weekend it was wonderful to meet up with a woman who'd gone to live overseas last year, and had somehow heard about me getting ill and sent me some sweet emails at the time. She is back on holiday and I had no idea - so it was lovely to see her walking in! We had a nice little chat. She told me she followed my blog so she knows what I'm up to - hi there Daniele if you're reading this!

choir, health, yoga ...

Spent the weekend at a choir camp. Our choir QUMS (Queensland Uni Musical Society) is doing a big performance of Handel's Judas Maccabaeus in just over 10 days' time. And although we've been rehearsing it for months, it's still a biig piece and lots to learn/polish! We're performing it at St John's Cathedral in Brisbane (apparently the last Gothic cathedral to be built - in fact they're still building it!) and there are going to be 4 soloists and an orchestra. Should be amazing - I normally only sing in big things like that when it's the Messiah - also by Handel!

Apart from that I have been slowly recovering from all the excitement ... photos will come soon I promise! Yoga did get a bit left behind but I practiced today - and it was hard! Normally it's only like that the 2nd practice after a gap!

Nothing much else ... but? wait! I just remembered! I had a blood test and then saw my doctor last week! Nothing too much new to report. Although my blood levels were a bit down on the previous test, he thought that those (the previous test results) were probably still reflecting the booster injection I'd had. My new WBC levels are still 'trending up' (!) if you take out that one. He was happy with it all. I am due to have scans (PET and CT) at the end of June and will see him again the following month. Assuming all is well in those, he said he probably wouldn't schedule any more scans unless/until something showed up. Which hopefully will either not, or not for a very long time!!

So anyway - it's all good!

I'm baaack ... :)

Well, I wasn't supposed to be 'officially' back posting here till next week after I've seen my doctor again, but I've been spending quite a bit of time 'doing up' this blog again - new template, new pictures, new lots of things. And I just can't resist posting - don't want to wait till next week!!

So - I'm going to assume everyone who's interested will have been reading my lymphoma journey blog (http://lymphomajourney.blogspot.com) and so knows all about that. As I said there, I'm in remission. I'm back at work fulltime, back doing yoga, back living my life! My blood counts are still low, and my immune system still compromised, but as of my last blood test it's on the way up! Still building up strength etc. but lately I've been feeling soo much better and stronger. (Feels a bit scarey to say that - almost inviting some sickness or other to come! But I mustn't be too superstitious.)

Anyway, (this is a bit of re-hashing from the other blog, but ... ) I made a sort of new year's (new life!) resolution to not be so shy, to be more 'out there' enjoying life and taking what was on offer. So, as my birthday is next week I decided to have a party, partly for that but mainly more as a celebration after all of last year's events! That's happening this Friday evening, at a cafe in Paddington (Brisbane). Well, it's actually what they call a 'Backyard BBQ' - is being held in their very nice back yard and catered by them. This is so unlike me, but to be honest having taken the plunge I have really been enjoying all the organisation etc. and am very much looking forward to it ...

I'll still post health stuff on the other blog, but now that it's not so much of a focus in my life I'll leave it just for that!

Feels great ... :)

Last post for a while ...

Anyway, this will be my last post here for a while. I guess most people who read my blog will know that I have been diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma ... so on Monday I head off to hospital for 2 weeks to start the treatment. I should be finished that sometime in November ...

I decided to set up another blog about this 'chapter' of my life! http://lymphomajourney.blogspot.com/ Mostly because I want to be able to close the door on it when I've finished treatment and the doctor gives me the all clear (as much as you can ever get an all clear once something like this happens to you!)

So head on over there to follow my ups and downs through a side of life that I never wanted to know about, but will now be having an intimate experience with!! As I keep telling everyone, I'm completely positive about the outcome and just want/need to get through it and out the other side!

See you there (the blog I mean, not cancer!!! )

And I'll be back posting here next year sometime ... :)