September update

Well, I don't know that I have anything much to say that's interesting. But it has been over a month since I last posted so I really should ...

Had a really lovely 10 days or so when 3 friends from the UK and Portugal, and one from Byron Bay came to stay for a wonderful 5-day event with our meditation teacher, Maharaji. Mind you - it was lovely, but I was sick the whole time they were here (still am) and so had to get them to do all the cooking etc. I just managed to be one of the two drivers to and from the convention site each day, and then to drag myself across the countryside there to collapse in different locations to listen ... And then collapse into bed as soon as I'd eaten dinner!

So, why am I sick?!! I had thought I was getting better the week before they came, but it just all hit me again as I rushed too and fro from the airport collecting international visitors! I'm sure there must be some connection to my mother's death, and the really difficult few months I've had. I have seen both the 'coughing' doctor and my haematologist and it appears I just have to wait for the coughing to hopefully go away/die down. The antibiotics I have been taking for ages no longer work much (surprise surprise!), and the only other antibiotic I could take, I can't as it's implicated in the haemalytic anaemia I had earlier in the year!!

It has actually made me realise that I really need to take things into my own hands here. The partner of one of my English friends is a homeopath and we ended up skyping (or trying - ended using the 'normal' phone line!). She sent me some remedies which I started taking last week, and even though I find it hard to see how homeopathy can work, I do feel they have made a difference. And if it's a placebo effect, well why should I care?! I'm going to investigate further on the complementary side of medicine to see what help I can get, before I go back to those doctors near the end of October ...

And yoga? Well, apart from some Sun Salutes 2 weeks ago, nothing! I'm hoping I might be up to doing some lunchtime yoga during the week. But today it's really hot and didn't feel like dragging myself across campus! It's supposed to be the beginning of Spring for goodness sake, not full summer! Luckily the weather forecast says it will go down to the mid-twenties from tomorrow ... although still no rain! Had to buy some water in last week after all those visitors!!

Shoulderstand - I wish!

I saw a post this morning via Elephant Journal - 10 Reasons to do Shoulderstand every day ... And right now I am just thinking - I wish!! I really wish I could do shoulderstand. I wish I could do any yoga!

I had decided that I would do Sunday yoga with my friend Helen as my re-entry into yoga practice after many weeks of not being able to do any because of various back injuries (one following the other etc etc!!) My right shoulder had been feeling heaps better for days (in fact I had hardly felt it for days) and my right hip issue was completely forgotten. Of course I still have the awful awful cough which I knew would be exacerbated by downdog (or any kind of inversion) but I was completely ready to make a start on a limited practice. So ... I managed to get through 3 Sun Salute As (with many many stops for coughing!), and then did a restricted version of the standing poses (leaving out the parivritti variations). But by the time I got to the seated poses I was feeling niggles in my shoulder - and even my hip made an appearance! So I just did a few lying down poses like supta hasta pandangustasana. But my shoulder was complaining more loudly, to the extent that I had to do savasana lying on my left side ...

And now, 2 days later it is still an issue off and on, much like it had been ... sigh!! It's actually hard to think of yoga poses that don't involve your shoulders in some way. When I see my osteopath again tomorrow she will no doubt tell me off - last time I saw her she said I could only do 'restorative' yoga.

All this trying to get back to yoga was/is of course part of trying to get my life back to normal. To some extent it is working, though I have to admit to a certain amount of putting stuff to one side, not confronting things. But there's definitely a few things that I can't put off too much longer, like writing to people in the UK who may not have heard the news about Mum.  Heigh ho ... !

Actually, action is going to be forced on me as in two and a half weeks 3 friends from Europe are arriving to stay for 10 days (and there'll be a 4th Aussie friend staying too!) - our meditation teacher is doing a 5-day event at Amaroo which is going to be soo wonderful! And anyway - I'll really need to have made a start on all these letters etc. before then, otherwise it'll be 2 months late ...

How long has it been?

Seems like an age since I last posted here! Only 2-3 weeks but they have been extremely full weeks!

Full of people staying; spending precious time with Maharaji, my teacher; more time spent down in NSW helping my mother get over her fractured femur ...

And now it's only 15 days till I fly off to Bali for a week with Dena!

I only got back from Bowral (where my Mum lives) on Wednesday, just in time to go to Maharaji's public Words of Peace event in Brisbane. Then back to work for the last 2 days of the week. I went to class (yoga) last night, and will go to the Saturday afternoon one tomorrow. Then on Sunday morning I'm going to Helen's to do yoga on her back deck. I've been meaning to take some photos of that for ages - hopefully I'll remember this time!

Decided to give my knee (and strained right hamstring!) a rest today. I went to the osteopath yesterday (Thursday) and probably shouldn't have gone to yoga that evening as she worked on the hamstring. Maybe I've undone all her work - hopefully not!! But anyway, good news on that front - she told me I don't need to come again for my knee! So my knee is being released to do the final healing on its own over the next few months!

Actually, my whole attitude to the knee issue has changed following an email from Dena. I'd sent her an email 'explaining' about my knee injury and all the poses I couldn't do. When I didn't hear anything back for a few weeks, I sent another similar email (!) She replied very sweetly saying:

Stop concentrating on what you can't do,

and enjoy what you can !!

That really cut through! I've been obsessed for weeks - no months!! Seems so silly now. In fact I can't believe I actually added a whole section on one side of this blog about what poses I could and couldn't do! That is going - going - gone !!

So, thank you Dena!!

Yoga and visitors

Yesterday I was just hanging out the washing while waiting for Helen (my yoga friend) to come and do a yoga practice with me, when I caught sight of movement in a shrub next to the house. This is what/who it was!! A young-ish carpet snake, happily curled up on top of some outside lights ...  I showed it to Helen - and we agreed that (speaking generally) we don't worry about snakes with patterns on them like this. It's the ones that are all one colour - brown or black specifically - that you need to be wary of!

We both practiced to the Mark Darby Ashtanga DVD ... I did some poses that I'm not supposed to be doing again yet (naughty!) Like mariA and B (but the easy version of B). And then Supta konasana ... and even shoulderstand. I was careful (very careful) about not doing anything bad to my knee, but it seemed fine! Some other poses - eg. Janu Sirsasana C and Triang Mukhaikapada Paschimottanasana (which name I had to copy and paste from a website - too long to remember!!) Anyway, some poses I look at and think - it may be a whole year before my knee can cope with that again!! But still, little by little it is coming back, and I am taking the opportunity to concentrate on other areas of my practice, so it's all good.   ( I suppose !!)

This weekend Maharaji is speaking at a 2-day event at Amaroo - it's 2 years since I last saw him! I am so looking forward to it. I've got people coming to stay for it too. My Mum is coming out of hospital on the Monday and I'm going down to look after her for a week. She could have come out on Friday, but I had to ask her to put it off till the Monday so I could see Maharaji ... Luckily she understands how important it is for me ... :)

And then when I get back from my Mum's it'll only be 3 weeks till I head off to Bali for Dena's workshop!

Bali - flight booked!

It's been ages since I posted here (except for the burnt marmalade episode!) Quite a few things have happened in the past few weeks - some (one) of which will have to be its own post, when I feel up to talking about it.

But I really wanted to get back here, and ... late last week I got the wonderful news of confirmation of dates for my meditation teacher's events in Australia. Really looking forward to a wonderful weekend at Amaroo with him at the beginning of September!

Which also meant that I am now able to confirm my trip to Bali to Dena's workshop. Booked my flight on Saturday, and have emailed Dena with info about my knee issues ... :) Of course the flights were more expensive that I thought they'd be - but in a way that's something you have to expect! Partly because of having specific dates (which may coincide with some school holidays), partly because they never include all the extras/fees/charges in the online quoted price!! But anyway ... booked and paid for now!!

Apart from the yoga, and Dena, and the wonderful Ubud and Bali, I am really looking forward to finally meeting up with fellow ashtangi bloggers V (hiddenashtangi, which is really hidden at the moment!) and Bibi (pakistaniashtangi.wordpress.com/). You kind of feel you get to know people online, but it's great to have that face-to-face connection too ... :)

And, finally Masterchef Australia has finished (last night) so I won't be sucked into watching quite so much TV - every night!!! I have really enjoyed having a new focus on cooking over the past year or so and I'm sure that won't change. I used to cook a lot of Indian food ... now I'm drawn to more 'Asian' style food/ingredients - fish sauce, kecap manis (Indonesian soy sauce), 5spice, palm sugar, etc etc. I find when I go to the library these days I'm always picking up cooking magazines (Delicious, Master Chef) as well as books. And I bought that Jamie Oliver 30-Minute Meals book and have been cooking some of those (really yummy) recipes, though not attempting to do the whole meal, or in 30 minutes. It's lucky I'm a 'vegetarian who eats fish' though!

Bali again 2011

Well I've been trying for ages to work out whether I can go to Dena Kingsberg's Bali workshop again this year at the beginning of October ... Possible timing conflicts with an Australian visit by my teacher, Maharaji. I still have no idea - the proposed September dates for that haven't even been sent in as far as I know! And no idea of which dates in September ?!?! Whatever, I absolutely must see him this year - that is my first priority!

However, I know that last year Dena's whole workshop got 'sold out' at some point so I've decided to go ahead and pay a non-refundable deposit for the Bali workshop, hoping that I'll be able to get to Bali too. I was quite scared to actually do that, but now that I have I'm really glad! I'm only going (or hoping to go!) for the first week, but it should be wonderful.

My practice is slowly getting back together after the short enforced layoff! Went to my friend Helen's on Sunday morning and we did our practice on her back deck amongst much tropical foliage! One of these days I'll remember to take a photo. Today I did a short lunchtime practice at the gym at Uni, and tomorrow it's back to class.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Friday morning yoga

I had Friday off as a flex day ... so I was able to go to the only morning class at my shala. It felt so nice to be at a class in the morning - I almost always practice at lunchtime, or go to evening classes. It was a lovely change. Well, probably just the fact of having a day off work, and being 'on holiday' fed into the happy feelings ... Whatever - I had a lovely day!

Had a bit of a chat with R my yoga teacher and have now got another 'project' to concentrate on. I really need to build up strength in my arms and shoulders. I still can't hold chataranga dandasana, my arms just collapse at a certain point. And until I have that arm/shoulder strength, I also won't be able to hold dhanurasana, or headstand. Which I really want to do!! I have been trying to build up it up, and am going to do a few additional things at home to strengthen those recalcitrant arms! I need to develop those strong swimmers' arms/shoulders ... :)

On Saturday afternoon I went to a video afternoon at Amaroo and heard about how Maharaji is wanting to come to Amaroo again this September. And how we can make it happen. Very nice and inspiring ...

Today (Sunday) a friend Helen came round and we did a led Ashtanga practice with my new DVD of Mark Darby. It was the first time I'd practiced with this DVD - I really like it. He reminds you so much to be with the breath. Highly recommended ... :)

I've also enjoyed being able to do a few things in the garden, as the weather finally seems to be cooling into an Autumn. It felt very nice. I haven't looked at the veggie garden though - I mean, I have and it's a total mess! But I haven't tried to do anything with it ... just stuck to smaller easier tasks to start off with!!

Notes from the Plane

Below are some notes I wrote on the plane to Bangkok. Happily in Ubud now but having a few problems using my iPad wireless in the internet cafe - so am reduced to using the awful PC and evenworse keyboard!! Hopefully I will get this sorted/find a better place soon!
 
***
Panic over the Virgin \airlines system meltdown meant I ended up getting another ticket on Qantas to fly to Sydney and connect with my flight to Bankok. I just couldn't risk missing the connection onto the Thai flight! It all worked out and now I'm sitting on the plane, tapping away on my iPad! Housesitters are firmly ensconced and no doubt glad to see me go!

Even though I've gone through Immigration (and had my toothpaste confiscated and thrown away?!), and I'm sitting on a Big Plane heading way north of Australia, it stil seems somewhat unreal. Maybe when I get out of the plane in Bangkok airport it'll seem more real. Certainly when I finally finish with airports and am out into the steamy Balinese head I believe I'll know I'm somewhere quite else!!

Amazing sunset arount the edge of the sky ... probably over Bali but we're flying to Bangkok. Sleeping there, then flying back down to Bali.

Later:
Watched the Ashtanga NY video on the iPad. Now as the plane flies through the dark getting closer to Bangkok I'm having a lovely time listening to devotional/inspirtional music. This is my Inspirational playlist:

Every Day of my Life - Aaron Neville
One Love/People get Ready - Bob Marley
Hallelujah Chorus - Handel's Messiah
Oasis   and
Downpour - both by One Foundation
Loving you Tonight - Squeeze (4 Weddings & a Funeral soundtrack)
Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
Love is all Around - Wet Wet Wet (another from 4 Weddings ... )
Can't Help falling in Love - Elvis Presley
As we Are - Cara Tower
Hare Krishna - Krishna Das with some throat singers (amazing sound!)
Om Jai Jagdish Hari - this is (or contains) a wonderful instrumental version of Arti

Got the last 2 off iTunes - happy to share further info to anyone who's interested!
 ***

I'd forgotten how awful internet cafe computers/keyboards can be!! Hope I can sort the iPad connection out very soon so I don't have to do this again! Plus I want to upload photos ... :)  But - Bali is wonderful (of course!) More very soon ...

Class (yoga) again at last!

Went to yoga class on the weekend - first time in about 3 months! Since I had that period of awful coughing every time I did any inverted pose ... For the past few weeks I've been doing yoga at home, and with our yoga group at work. But going back to class is definitely another level of intensity altogether. The energy was just wonderful!

I did some poses that I'd been leaving out for a while, either because of time constraints, weakness, or whatever! Shoulderstand (sarvangasana) was one - and I felt much more upright in that pose than in the past.

I hadn't made any particular new year's resolutions this year, but now I feel that one thing I really would like to do is move forward with my yoga practice, put more energy there. I feel that for the past couple of years it's been stop -> start -> stop -> start ... Understandable given the circumstances, but now it's time to get out of that cycle and go forward!

Mind you, I say I hadn't made any new year's resolutions, but one thing I do know! I am going to see Maharaji this year, whether it's here in Australia or somewhere else if he doesn't come to these shores. It's just been far too long!

I saw my doctor yesterday, and had the 2nd of the immunoglobulin infusions. All good ... I'm seeing a respiratory physician tomorrow, and after that will blog about them both on the lymphoma blog.

What I did on my Holidays!

Not a school essay - really what I wanted to blog about was a film I saw and a book (one of many!) I read!

The film I saw must have come out a year or more ago. But it happened to be having a return season at the cinema in Bowral when I rang up to see what was on. I'd wanted to see it when it came out but somehow hadn't. Mum had, and she had loved it, so we went! As it is in Heaven - that's the translation from the Swedish. Probably many people have seen it/heard about it. If you haven't, go and see it! Such a wonderful wonderful uplifting film - about a violinist/conductor who develops a life-threatening heart condition and returns to the village of his youth. He ends up conducting the local village choir, a mixed bunch (non-auditioned of course) of locals all with their own problems and issues.

There's a beautiful song that the woman with the husband who beats her (Gabriella) sings in their village hall concert. The words were just so inspiring that I had to search the internet to find them. Here they are (again, obviously translated from the Swedish!)

It is now that my life is mine
I’ve got this short time on earth
And my longing has brought me here
All I lacked and all I gained
And yet it’s the way that I chose
My trust was far beyond words
That has shown me a little bit
Of the heaven I’ve never found

All my living days I will live as I desire
I want to feel I’m alive
Knowing I was good enough
I have never lost who I was
I have only left it sleeping
Maybe I never had a choice
Just the will to stay alive

Being who I am
To be strong and to be free
To see day arise from night
I am here and my life is only mine
And the heaven I thought was there
I’ll discover it there somewhere
I want to feel that I’ve lived my life

It really struck a chord with me - probably it is better when you hear the music and see the lovely brave woman singing it out at the front of the choir stage, with her husband glowering in the back of the hall. But - yes, I too want to feel that I've lived my life!!

The final scene, of the choir on a big competition stage in Salzburg, with their conductor, probably dying from a heart attack, unable to get up the final flight of stairs to the stage to be with them, but still hearing them from below, was just utterly wonderful. I sat there with tears streaming down my face and a huge joyous smile plastered all over the same face!! As all the other (professional) choirs who were in the audience (and had previously been pretty snooty about this village group) slowly stood up to sing with them! Oh I'm nearly crying again writing about it ... :)

And the book that I read, which was perhaps in a similar vein, was Eat Pray Love. I know, I know, it's been out for a year or two, and I've finally got to it. (Although if I'd read that Julia Roberts was recommending it I'm not sure that I would! I don't know why publishers think that would make anyone buy a book!!!) But luckily I hadn't, and I really loved the book. It was so uplifting and - reminding me that there's so much more to life than I sometimes allow myself to remember! I know, I shouldn't need reminding. I do have that gift of Maharaji's knowledge. But I'm a very imperfect and easily distracted person and consequently am really grateful for all the reminders that come my way!!

5 days in heaven

That was just the most wonderful 5 days ... 5 days of leaving 'everyday life' behind and just diving into that peace inside which was somehow manifested externally. 5 days of sitting and listening to Maharaji remind us all of that peace that is inside each person. 5 days of hearing others express their joy and gratitude. 5 days of being reminded that it is all just a breath away.

We heard some of the beautiful comments that have been made on Maharaji's website and in guestbooks at public events from people who had just come across this possibility. And a question from someone who had just been shown how to go inside - "I feel like there is light dripping from every part of my body. Is this how I'm supposed to feel?" !!

And now it's the week after and I'm back at work, but I'm still feeling it inside and I just hope I'll continue to be in this place ... Can't say any more right now :)

Centred again

The event with Maharaji is over. It went bye so fast - really didn't want it to end! After he'd left the stage, they showed a slideshow of shots from the event - lots of pictures of happy happy premies ... and the music that accompanied it was Twameva mata chapita twameva - part of Arti ... (excuse my no doubt crap spelling of sanskrit!) :) I wish I could remember what he said ... but hopefully some of it will trickle through to my consciousness in the next few days. It was just a wonderful, wonderful 4 days :) Re-focused me, reminded me of where my centre is. I truly hope I can keep that connection ...

Now I'm having to pull myself together and work out what I still need to get/organise before I fly out - which is on Tuesday! Wendi and Jack have gone - to Brisbane tonight and then flying to Portugal via London. I'll be staying with them in a couple of weeks!

Mmm - now I'm making a playlist for my iPod of inspirational music to listen to on the plane! Norah Jones - You do something to me, Aaron Neville, Every day of my life ... yum! And must put something from The Messiah in there too.

btw - my music collection is pretty old - I'm waiting for iTMs to open in Australia so I can (legally) download heaps of stuff!! There's an Aussie website called Appletalk with lots of discussion forums on it. The longest by far (about 50 pages to date) is about when oh when is the Music Store going to open here. Latest rumour is tomorrow (that's the 3rd October)but it's probably another unsubstantiated rumour!

In another world ... :)

Last day at work (for a while) was Wednesday. On Thursday I came straight to Amaroo and started organising the Internet Centre for the event with Maharaji next week. Took some colourful pictures from the walls to brighten the place up, and it's looking good. (Well, as good as an old demountable building can!!) Wendi and Jack have been staying with me for a few days, now Wendy and David and Vic have arrived too! A full house - lovely!

3 days later (Sunday) we had a staff training, and opened for business at midday. Already there have been quite a few people through - straight off the bus/plane from overseas and into the internet (!)

Vic went to the introductory event in Melbourne and ... Maharaji also spoke at Parliament House in Canberra (!!!!) - part of the United Nations anniversary celebrations. Somehow Vic got to be invited to this (he always gets to these things, don't know how!) He was just in awe about how beautiful and powerful M was ... just a couple more days and we'll all be sitting in front of him ... :)

I did manage to get to yoga yesterday afternoon. Probably the last class I'll get to before I get on the plane in 10 or so days' time (after which I'll be showing up at Hamish Hendry's shala in London for a few days). So I was determined to go.

I got a lift down to the front gate with some guys in a ute - and believe it or not as I got in and closed the door, I shut it on my hand! I just couldn't believe it - stop!! stop!! My hand's shut in the door!!! Luckily it didn't hurt too much - somewhat unbelievably. A Brazilian American guy gave me an ice pack to put on my hand and I drove into yoga with it balanced precariously on my hand. Difficult when you've got a manual car!

I was wondering how it would affect my practice, but down dogs were fine and everything except where I have to balance on my knuckles (because I can't quite get my hand flat to the ground yet). Felt a bit tender there. But this morning, I hardly know i did anything! Thank goodness ...

Daypacks, yoga and Maharaji's Keys

Went into town today, visited the travel gear shops in the Valley (Fortitude Valley). I'm looking for a new daypack. I need one that can carry my laptop too, since I'm taking that with me. I guess I can leave it where I'm staying in London when I go out, but definitely don't want to leave it anywhere when I'm in India! Specially since I'm probably going to Delhi and will end up staying in some cheap(ish) Lonely Planet-type hotel!

Found a really nice Macpac one (how appropriate, since I'm a Mac user!!) They're going to order it in and I will bring my laptop in to make sure it fits OK ...

Yesterday it was just me again doing yoga at lunchtime. Craig seems to be too busy at lunchtimes at the moment. This time I tried something different which someone suggested on the Ashtanga discussion board. Normally I just go through and do what I can in an hour. But this time I did the standing sequence, and then started from Navasana. Seems like a good idea - I think I'll alternate where I start the sitting poses from now on ...

Tomorrow I'm going to a repeat showing of the Keys videos (well, dvds) - at Amaroo. Saw them there before on the Queens Birthday long weekend, but it'll be wonderful to see them again. I remember how completely stunning they were ... I decided not to sign up for the dvds till I come back from India - well, probably not till next January really. But there's plenty of time. It's going to be wonderful - like going through the process of preparing for Knowledge again.

On my iPod/iTunes at work: Robbie Robertson - Music for the Native Americans